Spiritual Sex: An Introduction to Tantra
By Leanne Beattie

How long does it regularly take you to have sex? Half an hour? Fifteen minutes? Or, heaven forbid—five minutes? Is your girlfriend happy with that? Are you? What if you could have sex for hours, experience multiple orgasms and feel like you were touching the face of God all at the same time? You can, with Tantric sex.

If you’re like most people, you’ve heard of Tantra but you don’t really know what it is and what it can do for you. Maybe you believe that Tantra has some connection with Eastern religion, with long, wild sex or the pretzel-twisting positions in the Kama Sutra.

To some, Tantra is a throwback to the free-love days of the sixties. To others, it’s some sort of New Age spiritual sex therapy. But neither of these perceptions is correct at all.

So what is Tantra? What does it mean? And, most important of all, how can it improve your sex life?

The Basics of Tantra
The word Tantra is thought to come from the ancient Sanskrit word meaning “web” or “weave”. With this definition, Tantra is an all-encompassing way to combine or weave spirituality into sexuality. Or the word may come from two Sanskrit words, Tanoti and Trayati. Tanoti means to expand consciousness and Trayati means to liberate consciousness.

No matter where the word came from, Tantra is a way to create bliss and achieve a higher spiritual state—the complete opposite of the Western idea of a quickie!

In simplest terms, Tantra is a way to worship and become one with the universe while becoming one with your sexual partner. Tantric sex allows you to convert your energy, also known as “chi” or “vital force”, into a state of god-likeness.

Ancient Eastern religious followers considered their sexuality to be a divine gift—an expression of union with the universe in its most basic form. This merging of religion and sexuality allowed practitioners to awaken their spiritual consciousness and experience pure bliss.

And although sexuality is an important part of life, sexual pleasure is usually frowned upon in Western religions—sex should only be done for procreation, not enjoyment. Tantra is different though—sex is considered the best way to become one with the universe.

Sexual Spirituality
Tantra treats sexual energy as a blessing, not something to be ashamed of—instead of being forced to control your sexual urges to reach God, Tantra believes the total opposite. In Tantra, sexual energy is used as the fuel that fires the body's biological energy system, allowing you to merge with universal energy.

In the Sanskrit language, Kama means sex and love together—they are indivisible. Kama is the name for the Hindu Goddess of love and love is what Tantra encourages—total love, including the mind, the spirit, and the body. You’re probably already familiar with the classic Kama Sutra, the ancient Tantric scripture—you might even have a copy in your nightstand.

The basic difference between unenlightened Western sexuality and Tantra is that Tantra believes that your body is the temple of God and the body represents the entire universe. Tantra combines meditation and non-orgasmic sex to reach a state of bliss and enlightenment.

The ritual of Tantric sex triggers the human energy centres, or Chakras, which are believed to give everyone the potential to reach universal bliss. Each person is thought to have 6 main Chakras (base of spine, near navel, near heart, near throat, between brows and genitals) which represent a way to reach this higher energy.

Tantric rituals open up these energy points to balance the flow of energy throughout the body and help achieve an elevated state of sexual awareness. Practitioners claim that Tantric sex can not only improve your complete physical health, but it can also help create a feeling of inner peace and harmony.

How to Get Started
Tantra isn’t something you just jump into without some preparation. Start with a long, hot bath to help relax you and your partner. Take your time and admire each other’s body—tune out the rest of the world and concentrate on each other.

Next, eat something delicious. Food is important if you are beginning a long Tantric session and sharing food and feeding your partner strengthens your connection to each other. Foods such as meat, fish and honey are all sexual foods in the Tantra tradition. A good bottle of wine completes the meal.

Take the time to create a beautiful atmosphere—light candles or dim the lights to help to prepare a peaceful space. Use an oil burner or incense sticks to scent the air.
Next, take your time massaging each other's body with oil. Try using some silk scarves and feathers for gentle stroking and caressing.

Keep it slow—the aim is not to waste energy through orgasm but to maintain this heightened state of sexual bliss indefinitely. If you feel an urge to ejaculate, hold back. Stop completely until the desire passes if necessary.

Although it goes against everything you’re used to, delaying your orgasm is actually very beneficial. Besides helping you to have the most fantastic sex you've ever had, it's also the perfect way of reaching both physical and spiritual well-being.

Truly satisfying Tantra requires dedication, commitment and the acceptance of new ways of thinking. Be open to re-considering your sexual expectations, such as the standard belief that the only goal of sex is to have an orgasm. Orgasm is only one aspect of the sexual act—Tantra emphasizes the joining of two souls to create powerful sexual energy, not orgasmic release alone.

When you embrace Tantra, you become more complete. How? By recognizing and stimulating your spiritual side. While feeling pleasurable, Tantra also allows you to discover parts of yourself that have been repressed or pushed aside by conventional religious beliefs.

Anyone can use Tantra to improve their sexual relationship and develop their spiritual life—and you don’t need to adopt the total Eastern philosophy to see results. If you do decide to implement Tantra in your lovemaking, you will experience a whole new world of sexuality—one without guilt or spiritual boundaries. And doesn’t that sound heavenly?