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Testicles: A Woman's Perspective
By Jackie Hahn

Women know that men are extremely aware of their testicles. We know this because for the most part, a man's hands never stray far from their general area. They seem to think that it is fine to readjust them almost anywhere. I am sure they have examined them and perhaps given them some attention when they are mastering their own domain, so to speak. But to be honest, testicles are a pretty big mystery to women. While we know through experience and girl talk what to do with the rest of the unit, we are never really sure if we are supposed to give the testicles any attention, and if so, what kind.

Aesthetically, women have very diverse ideas about men’s genitalia. Some women think that the male unit is beautiful and proud. Others think that it looks kind of ridiculous. This is mostly because women are not taught to really spend a lot of time looking at their man when she is in bed with him. We are also not as apt in your youth to dig up naked pics that we can examine at length. It is often not until a woman has gained some confidence in her sexuality that she can really keep her eyes open and take in what you guys really look like down there.

When we do finally have the courage to open our eyes, usually our attention is drawn to your penis, which is infinitely more appealing to gaze upon than your testes. It is strong and yet so soft, and every one is different. Plus, to be honest, what have your testicles ever done for us? Of course your penis is going to be the focus of our attention. It’s been doing all the work!

Once we have overcome our fascination with your penis, and our eyes sink to take in your testicles, I have to be honest: comparitively, they are really not a lot to look at. While I can tell you how my ex lovers’ units have been different from one another, aside from any glaring differences, like one missing, I would not be able to tell you much about their testicles. There was one whose testicles would dart up into his body right before the big finale, but to be honest, I only noticed because seriously, one minute they were there, the next minute, they weren’t. It was kind of alarming.

Two reasons not to love your boys
There are two primary reasons that women are not drawn to your testicles. The first is aesthetic. They just aren’t considered attractive. And if you haven’t burst into the 21st century yet and do not shave your scrotum, don’t hold your breath thinking any woman is going to go down there. Seriously, shave those things. You may think that the wrinkly little sack is better hidden behind some matted hair, but you would be wrong. Trimming is fine, but shaving is overwhelmingly preferred.

Falling as well under the aesthetic is just the general opinion about cleanliness down there. And this prejudice is not entirely our fault. How often do you see a guy scratching his balls or talking about how sweaty they are? It may seem amusing to you guys, but when we’re in the neighbourhood, we can’t help but cast our memory back to those sweaty ball conversations and how many times we have seen you scratching down there. If a woman scratched her crotch every time it itched (and believe me, you guys aren’t the only ones who itch), wouldn’t you start to wonder what is so itchy down there?

The other reason we don’t venture down there often is because we don’t really know what to do with them. We know the sensitive parts of the penis, and many believe (erroneously) that any effort down there is fine because it’s all sensitive--kind of a it’s-the-thought-that-counts job—but we are really at a loss when it comes to what to do with your testicles. We know from growing up that they are very sensitive, so right off the bat, we are nervous about hurting you somehow. We know that it’s bad if they get twisted, so we feel like we need to watch for that. Mostly, we just don’t really know what or how to deal with them, so many, without guidance, won’t.

What she needs to know
Many women don’t even realize that this is an erogenous zone (or maybe they just don’t want to consider it), or to what extent it is. If you want to introduce this aspect into your sex life, then you might be the one who has to bring it up. Once you do, if your girlfriend has other close girlfriends with whom she discusses this kind of thing, hopefully she will go to them for tips. And hopefully they will know what to tell her.

If it is up to you to guide her hand or mouth, or whatever she has down there, then you need to be pretty explicit, and you also need to have explored the region yourself a bit. Recognize that your testicles might be different from others she has seen in the past. For instance, orally manipulating balls is much easier to do if you are a low hanger with a fairly elastic scrotum. If your guys tend to skooch up inside you when you get turned on, it is more difficult to try and coax them out without worrying that we may be hurting you.

While most of us know that the area is incredibly sensitive, make sure you stress this to her before sending her down. Just like some guys seem to think using their teeth or hauling like a hoover on certain parts of the female anatomy is sexy, some women may not know their strength when they turn their attention to your balls. Let her know that they are delicate like eggs and should be treated with as much care.

If you don’t know what she should be doing down there, but she is willing to give it a go, let her know what you like and don’t like as she explores. If you don’t know what to ask for, then you’d better believe she won’t have a clue, unless she has previous experience in this area. One area to encourage her to attend to is the perineum, which is the area between your scrotum and your anus. It is an incredibly sensitive area, and if she can master stimulating it digitally (with her fingers) or even orally, you will be in for a treat.

In order to encourage her to give your testicles a little attention, make sure that you are clean, smell nice, and are freshly shorn. This is the bare minimum that women expect. A little flavoured massage oil is also a very good idea, just to get rid of thoughts of itching and sweating. Most women will not be venturing around your balls if you are havng a one-night-stand or fairly casual relationship. There just isn’t enough incentive. Most of the women I asked also confirmed that if you are not doing a stellar job taking care of her orally, chances are that she will not go that extra mile and include your testicles in the reciprocation.

So remember, you must give in order to receive. You will be surprised what a woman will do for you once you have taken care of her. Add a little sensible grooming and maybe some chocolate oil to that equation and you could be in for an entirely new set of delights.

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