charles, 45

Steve, you can do what Brian says and certainly if you can make sex work with her I am all for it. But you may not want to give up your two kids, your house, and your life and wind up in a one bedroom lousy apartment and no relationships just because of the sex issue. If you get along with your wife other than the sex why not stay with it an seek sex elsewhere? Sure sex is better if you love the woman but for most men it is still good even if you don't. Besides it would buy time and your wife may come around.

Brian, 36

Initially I was leaning towards her just flat out not liking you at all. But the more I think about it, the less I think that's the problem. If she truly hated you and didn't want to maintain any kind of sexual relationship...she wouldn't even allow you to perform oral on her. It sounds like she's got some personal issues to deal with and she hasn't thought to let you in on them. For her to allow you to seek sex elsewhere is not the cure to your problem. Having sex with your own wife is. If she has a problem, it needs to be addressed. Tell her that you were frustrated when you asked before and what you really want is sex with the woman you love. If she's not willing to work with you, then you two owe it to each other to split.

charles, 45

Congratulations!

SteveNJ732, 32

And she has given me permission to seek out a sexual relationship with someone else. As I said previously she has told me this but I never took her seriously. Well she and I talked and she is ok with it for real so my next post is an invitation to woman in NJ :)

-Steve

TheGreatOne, 47

Steve, your wife is a selfish piece of shit and so is Ellen. I wonder why there was no mention about the fact that you said that your wife recieves oral sex regularly and you haven't got it in years? If the shoe was on the other foot the women on this forum would be running to the rescue. Look at Ellen's silly instructions on oral sex--how mechanical and as a grand finale you get to jerk yourself off! How ridulous. And how insensitive. What is cum battery acid? Here is Ellen 1, 2, 3 yada yada. Ellen I wouldn't give you the time of day and would have kicked you to the curb as Guin would say.

Steve you need to stop giving her oral sex and see what she does. I bet that if she likes oral sex (and she must if she is getting it regularly) she will have a change of heart. You deserve better! And Guin mentioned about whether you tell her you love her. Steve did mention that he likes to finish missionary and say to her how much he loves her.

When I hear this shit it just makes me love my wife even more and makes me realize how nice it is with her. She has always given me oral sex as I have her on a regular basis and has always swallowed(this has been for our 20 years!). She also deep throats while I cum and thats like heaven. You see its all about loving your partner and wanting to please him/her!!! Not this contract 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 bullshit. How immature.

Guin, 58

You say you don't use birth control, you have 2 kids and you don't want anymore? Do you think it might be the fear of an unwanted pregnancy that puts her on edge about sex? Before you were married and she was so nutty about sex what kind of birth control did you use then? I'm confused by the lack of birth control, not wanting more children but wanting plenty of sex! Your wife and you need to do some talking, perhaps with a therapist, you need to work out a method of birth control AND find out why your wife changed from being sexual to being totally not into it at all. This is a confused situation. There is something going on here that your wife doesn't like so in order to avoid what she doesn't like she tries to avoid the whole thing---if you chose to not seek therapy you will have to figure out what it is that she doesn't like and change it. You write as if you adore your wife---does she know that? Sometimes men forget to let their wives know just how much they love them. Some men only do the "touchy/feely" stuff when they want sex---you need to be free with affection even when sex is not in the offing. Good luck to you and your wife, I hope things work out for the two of you.

ellen, 45

The bride is smiling because she know she has given her last blowjob.

Steve, your situation reminds me of a woman I went to college with. She told me that she was going to marry a rich older man. When she was 22 she married a man who was 40 years old and worked on Wall Street and made a bundle. She told me that during her courtship she gave him a blowjob or screwed him nearly every day. After the honeymoon she became her real self. She hated sex and denied it to her husband. From your story I wonder if you wife was like, using her sexuality to trap you.

charles, 45

I have two friends my age in your situation. Their wives don't want sex but doesn't care what her husbands do about it. The do: "don't ask, don't tell." My friends see prostitutes or have affairs discretely and don't say anything about it. It seems to work for them. The don't disrupt their families or lose their kids or house and they live with their wives as if they were sister and brother. It is an option.

SteveNJ732, 32

Hey thanks.. yeah I agree.. She actually has told me over and over to go and get it elsewhere. Could she really mean that ? She has me confused.
If I was to go get it elsewhere than what would I say..goodbye hun I'll be back later I have a sex date....LOL I just don;t know how to handle that one

charles, 45

Steve, my wife pulled that on me when she was 37, five years ago. She essentially refused sex, said she didn't need it or like it. I told her I considered it her marital duty to satisfy my reasonalble sexual needs or I would consider leaving her. She agreed to giving me one intercourse and one blowjob per week. She just lies there during intercourse and doesn't do a good blowjob but it is enough. I think you shoud tell your wife she needs to meet your reasonalbe sexual needs. If she won't then you could consider splitting or consider an affair or prostitutes. Your problem is much more common in my age group.