Brian, 35

Selina...stop yelling. And don't expect him to change.

DUD_Lite, 40

DUD, funny you should say that. Your wife told me the same thing the other night. How it was great to finally have sex and enjoy it again, and not have to be drunk.

Guin, 58

Selina, it goes like this. You say you're in love with him and you aren't going to leave him, that you are going to marry him. If that is the case the only advice I can give you is to get in touch with AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and get advice from the experts there on how to live with an alcoholic. As far as you being able to do anything to change him.....I doubt there is anything you can do. He can change himself but you can't change him. Change comes from within, not from without, and if you are under the illusion that marriage will change him....please reconsider because it won't. People are usually on their best behavior when they are dating so all the "faults" you see in him now, including drinking to excess, will remain after marriage and will most likely escalate.

Look at the man you are marrying and accept him for what he is because that is what you are marrying and that is who you are joining futures with. If you are upset with his drinking now you will be even more upset after marrying him and living with it day by day...and it is going to get old fast. If you can't accept marriage with a drinker, then now is the time to decamp from that relationship. Think of your future, think of what you want it to be and if drinking is not in your future this man should not be in your future either.

DUD, 40

I knew a friend that used to always drink and get buzzed before sex because his wife was fat.